NO Stranger Danger!

The words stranger danger make me cringe.  it's like nails on a chalkboard.  Of course i want my children to learn to be careful, but the idea that all strangers are dangerous, is ludicrous.  It creates a world of fear that i don't want my children to live it.  I didn't grow up in a paranoid society & i refuse to let my children grow up that way. 

At 4, my girls understand that they do not go any where with a stranger & if a stranger tries to make them go, they scream.  But we all know (or should know) that most crimes against children are committed by close friends & family members, not strangers.  The strangers are the ones we want them to tell if they are threatened.  We want them to talk to teachers & police,   If my child is lost or feels threatened, i want her to tell a stranger, any stranger. When she is older & alowed to go places by herself, if she feels like someone is following her, i want her to knock on the first avalable door & ask a stranger for help.
Tennessee Williams' wrote "I have always depended on  the kindness of strangers"

Having worked in the prison system, i know criminals & i understand that there are dangers in the world.  My children don't really understand this yet, & i don't want them to.  There is time for that.  I don't let them watch the news or violent TV shows or movies.  There is enough that seeps into the cartoons they watch.  & we talk about it.  We talk about dangers & how to avoid them.  But i will never teach my children that strangers are inherently bad.  

I do a lot of volunteer work. I help strangers when ever i can.  Maybe it is the world i have immersed myself in, but the people around me do the same.  We are not the exception, we are the rule.  People are good. 

In fact, i have always encouraged my children to talk to strangers.  They order their own food at a restaurant, they make friends every time we go to the park & they know to ask their new friends name & give their own.  They know to say "bless you", "excuse me", & "thank you", to perfect strangers when the need arises.

These are the kind of children i want to raise.  I'm raising children who will change the world, not live in fear of it. 

calling 911 for your child

this may be the scariest thing i have ever encountered as a mom.  one of my trips - C - fell about 6 feet & landed flat on her back on a hard wood floor.  were camping in a cabin & she was climbing down from a loft & lost her footing.  She didn't loose consciousness & screamed right away.  As a nurse & a mother, that scream is the most welcome sound in the world.  Still, she was writhing around it what looked like so much pain, i was concerned about a spinal fracture.  After calling 911, the ambulance was there very quickly.  The paramedics examined her & decided there was no immediate emergency but took us to the hospital to be sure.  By that time, C was able to talk & told us she didn't hit her head.  Her complaint was her lower back.  
The dr in the er checked her out & ordered an X-ray.  After 3 hours in the ER, & C refusing 4 times to let them get an x-ray, it was fairly apparent that she wasn't hurt.

But then the crotchety old dr comes in & says to me "it's really unusual for a 4 year old not to listen to her mother". as if I'm a bad mother who has no control of her child. I told him that if it were something i could hold her down for, i would. unfortunately a back x-ray is something she needs to be willing to do because she has to stand perfectly still with no one holding her.  WTF, has he ever met a 4 year old?  especially 1 in a strange place being asked to do something she has never done before?  

Thankfully, she really is OK.  I took her to the chiropractor a couple of days later (this happened on a camping trip in another state)  & he said he could feel where the back was compacted & under stress, but that he also didn't think she had done any real damage.  It's amazing how resilient kids can be.  

It really was the worst experience in my 5 1/4 years of pregnancy & motherhood. Here's hoping a i can get a minimum of 5 1/4 years before the next scare.