I know in my head that i hated being pregnant. the stress, the hormones, the physically ill feeling. but 4 years later, I'll still tell you i miss it. The baby bump, the special treatment, the ability to eat anything i want - OK, that may be the part i really miss. But i also miss babies. I remember how sweet they were when they slept in your arms, i remember hod happy just jiggling something in front of them would make them. Then i remind myself about breastfeeding & pumping & the uncountable number of diapers i changed & the months without sleep. I can't even imagine how i functioned, but i must have, because here i am. with 3 beautiful 4 year olds. Somehow, they & i made it threw those first few months & i have the log books to prove it. I guess that's a multiples thing. i don't think moms of singletons (it's also a multiples thing to use the work Singleton) keep a log of ever diaper change & feeding. Still, i would love to have more babies. my body is done, my wallet is empty, but my heart has a small hole. I've heard people say that they just knew when their families were complete. Somehow i just know that mine is not. I'm a 40 year old(41 next week), soon to be divorced, single mother of 4 year old triplets. Yet i know there were meant to be more. Unfortunately, those MORE, will not come from me. But someday, i would love to adopt. I would love to have another child or 2 as my own, to complete our crazy family. A set of twins would be wonderful. Someday. I while i won't have the stories of how they were in my belly to tell them, i will have the stories of how they were in my heart.
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